I Made It!

I did it! Im so proud of myself. I managed to make it through this vacation without contacting M. During the last few weeks it has been so hard not to. I had to talk myself out of 'just driving by' soooo many times.

It only got worst after my car accident. Family is great but there isnt anything like that 'special' hug that only one person can give you. I kept expecting him to contact me while I was there because usually when Im thinking about him a lot he ends up contacting me...we must still be on the same wave length. But not this time and that was worse (thought its a good thing cause I never could have managed to not talk to him this time).

I get very frustrated with myself that I still feel that pull but there really is no use denying it (though I continue to do so). I really cant imagine ever going back...but like the song says "If I didnt know now what I didnt know then". I may have been living in a dream world but I was much happier in that dream than I am now. Most of the time I manage to pretend like I dont care and that Im not thinking about him but so many things in my life we spent hours talking about. Including my new job that Im getting ready to start...just about every time I put on a pair of scrubs I think about him and his opinion of them (he loved them).

Hopefully now that I have taken the time to blog this I can quit thinking about it and move on.

Wee's Birthday

Natalie turns 2 on July 28th. Lex had her birthday party last night. The girls had tons of fun. They are so cute together. I have never since 2 kids that are happier to see each other. When we first got there I insisted that Kayla eat before she go play (she was still waking up) and poor Wee I thought she was going to have a heart attack before Kayla was ready to play with her, she kept saying "Kay Kay Kay" over and over and Kayla was just ignoring her for a long time (until she was awake and fed).

The girls swam together for a while and played in the jumper and just generally ran around like silly little girls laughing and playing.

As for presents Wee really didnt care much about opening them. And it was so funny because when she got clothes she would take them and hand them to Kayla (apparently she knows how much Kayla likes clothes!). Kayla even picked out her own present for Natalie. We were at Nordstrom Rack and they had a few different Hello Kitty shirts and she picked the one she wanted and insisted I buy it for 'Alee'. She's so funny, she knows that Lex likes Hello Kitty and so she associates it with Natalie and if she sees it she thinks Wee has to have it, lol.

Texas!

This summer I went to Texas to see my BFF and her family. It was nice to see everyone. Its been a while since we have all been together.

We went to Dave & Busters twice. And silly girls that we are we got matching shirts with our tickets. I thought the shirts were cute because they said Dave & Busters in pink with the year 1982 (mine & Hilda's birth year).

Hilda was the best she made a special trip to Hobby Lobby just for me since I dont have those at home and I wanted to check it out so bad. I had fun and got a bunch of loot.

The hardest part was going home...I miss Hilda!

I didnt really take a whole lot of pictures but it was fun!

My Grandpa

My family hasn't spoken to my grandpa (my mom's real dad) in about 10 years due to family drama. We have been hearing for a while that he had cancer. We heard that he really wasn't doing well and that he was in a hospital about an hour from my mom. She went back and forth for a long time trying to decide if she wanted to see him (and if he would even want her to come). On Wednesday of last week she decided to go and see him. It sounded like they had a good visit and got some things off their chests.

He went home on Thursday with Hospice care (though not everyone believed he was really dying). On Friday my family went to see him. Im really glad I did, I could tell he was really happy to see us all. He was hugging us all over and over which was very unlike him.

He took a turn for the worst on Monday-though I didnt know it until Tuesday afternoon. My mom stayed the night over there to be with him. Last night she called me to ask me a question about his meds. I offered to go out there and meet with the Hospice nurse so that I could administer his meds through his port since he could no longer swallow pills. Between the time she called me and when I was supposed to leave (about 30 minutes) he ended up passing away.

He went through all the stages of dying very quickly. Im just glad he was able to go peacefully. Now the family is working on the funeral arrangements, which Im assuming will be on Friday or Saturday.

Death is always sad, but Im glad he is no longer suffering

Lazy Day with Nina (what number are we on??)

Kayla and I spent the day (again) just hanging out at Brandons. I scrapped a bit and she played with her new cash register. This was her face when she saw it (guess she forgot since the day before).

She's such a ham!


I was surprised that her favorite part was the scanner since she like the credit card stuff at the store so much. The scanner is cool though, each time you squeeze the trigger it says an item and a price, if you point it at a 'price tag' it will read what it says, but even if you dont it will still read out a price.

This is Kayla having a snack...with the toys all around. Sitting on the floor watching some PBS show.


I got a few things done with my scrapping, even more after she left...check out my scrap blog.

Toys R Us

Kayla did not forget about going shopping like I thought she would. I was feeding her dinner and she asked about her 'toy'. So I took her to Toys R Us and let her have fun. We played around in there for over 2 hours! Of course I took pictures...

Playing with the Thomas the Train set

I pushed her on the swing forever... we had to make sure to leave room to for 'Alee' which Im beginning to wonder if its really her cousin Natalie or if she has an imaginary friend.

She was determined it was raining inside and wanted us all to have umbrellas.

One of the Power Wheels she drove....also with a place and a buckle for "Alee"

Using 'money' in the Barney toy. She would ask me for 'money' and to swipe. She calls credit cards money. Im gonna have to work on that one! She's not going to know the value of a dollar if she doesnt learn early.

Talking into the Crayola bank...has anyone NOT had one of those?

Dancing with Elmo

We also read books

As you can see we had fun...her with the toys and me with the camera phone. Of course she picked up a few toys and I got her cousin's birthday present so thats done.

Now the question is....what are we going to do tomorrow? I have my scrap stuff out, Im hoping she will play with her new toys and let me do that....Im not holding my breath though.

Two Year Old Shop-a-holic

This morning I picked up Kayla and we had breakfast at Denny's. On the way out she let me know she wanted to go 'shopping'. When I asked her what she wanted to go shopping for she said clothes. Oh my goodness! I told her we were going to Brandon's house and she said "no Brandon's, shopping". I dropped the subject then asked her a little bit later if she wanted to go shopping for clothes or toys and she said "clothes".

What a crack up! I managed to turn a 2yo into a shopping fiend!

Fourth of July

This year we had a very 'un-traditional' fourth with my family. Fireworks weren't even on the list for me at all.

I spent the day with Brandon and Kim just hanging out until 5 when Brandon and I went to go see my grandpa who we haven't seen in about 7-8 years. Due to a falling out (love the family drama!), of course the falling out was among the 'adults' so I had no issues going to see him. He has many health issues and came home on hospice which is why fences were finally mended. I hate it when that's whats necessary for people to come together.

My brother and I had only planned to stay an hour but we ended up staying 3. I'm really glad I got to go. My grandpa was really glad to see us I could tell. Plus being a nurse I was able to offer a few suggestions to make him more comfortable. Including encouraging him to use his pain medicine rather than trying to be stoic and not use it. When I was in nursing school one of my instructors said something that I have continued to repeat to my patients "you don't get a special badge in heaven for not taking the meds". It never fails to make people smile and generally helps them feel better about using their meds appropriately.

After we left there (we had to go pick up Kim who had managed to lock herself out of Brandon's house without her keys so she couldn't leave) we saw a few illegal fireworks on the way home but they weren't something we really cared about.

We were supposed to go to my brother's friends house but we left to late to make it over there. So we ended up going to the movies and seeing Hancock. What a crazy movie! Its nothing like we expected from the previews. I'm still not sure if I liked it or not. I didn't hate it but I didn't love it either.

What a strange holiday! But for me fulfilling since I got to go see my grandpa that I otherwise wouldn't have gotten too. I also offered to go sit with him if the family he is staying with needed any help.

My Blog...

I feel like my blog is so far behind I dont know where to start! AHHH... My days are so full that I have at least one thing to blog about everyday...guess I should get started! Hmm gonna do my 'scrap blog' first I think....wait for it!

Today Was a Busy Day!

While still in her ice cream pjs Kayla went out and played on Matthew's tractor. She has sat on it lots of times out in the yard but this was the first time the battery had been charged so it was a whole new experience for her.

After playing outside she got dressed-in her cute new purple Gap outfit (more recent shopping yay!) :)

Kayla wanted peanut butter for a snack after nap, I was surprised that she asked for that. I wasnt sure how she planned to eat it but I put it on a spoon (small amount) and gave it too her. She loved it...

Later on she even had time to color before it was time to go home...exactly how do we pack so much into one day?

Oh...and look how I managed to do her hair. It took 3 tries to get both sides done but smart Nina turned Barney on for her to watch while I worked on it. Im sure it didnt stay too long after I dropped her off at home but it was cute anyway.

I love french braided hair, I even where mine like that sometimes, even though it takes forever to do it.