Donald Lee Conway (Death)

**Disclaimer: this blog contains talk of death and dying**

Yesterday at about 130pm my Grandfather (my dad's dad) passed away.

He had been suffering from COPD for many years and in the past few months has had repeated hospitalizations. He has been hospitalized since Monday for respiratory depression. I of course had a cold at the beginning of the week and since he had surgery (thrombolectomy) I was not able to visit until Thursday. When I saw him I knew his time was short. I stay ed with him so that his wife could go home and rest because he needed someone with him as much as possible. While there of course my "nurse" kicked in and I asked if he had an advance directive filled out and found out that he did not. I spoke to my dad about it and found out that he had a DNR filled out but due to surgery they had to throw it out and make another after (which had not been done yet). My dad filled it out right then and my Grandmother signed her portion Friday morning when she came back. I am SO glad I talked to my dad about it because he died about 12 hours after that was signed, and if it had not been signed the nurses would have had to perform CPR which would have just been awful for him.

I feel bad because he was resting fine all day (first time in about 24hrs) since they got his anti-vomiting medication switched. I was freezing in the hospital and whatever they use to clean their linens makes me sneeze so I couldnt even wrap up in a blanket. I decided to go home and grab a sweater and come back before the Dr.s made their rounds. I was gone about 30min and when I got back he was already gone. With my mind I know that people most often wait until their family is out of the room before they pass. I've seen it more than once-but it really doesnt make me feel much better.

The nurses are unable to tell someone over the phone that someone has died so they called my Grandmother and my Dad and told them he took a turn for the worst and for them to come down there. When I arrived back at the hospital one of the nurses down the other hall reached out and rubbed my arm and said "its okay" and I KNEW that was BAD, so I went running down the hall and as I came around the corner I saw his curtain was closed and heard his nurse say "I would like to report a death". She then told me that his heart had just stopped. I called my dad to tell him not to hurry (we have a drive safe thing in my family) that he was already gone, he said he already had a feeling.

When my Grandmother got there she was running down the hall already crying, and then I had to tell her he was already gone. From there things just went downhill. More family arrived and so I had to explain over and over what happened. It was a bit frustrating cause it was all "her" family and they still made me do everything (including talking to all the professions-I had no idea someone (me) had to talk to a coroner after a death). I'm not complaining about that-I just felt like her daughter/sister would have been able to offer more comfort than I was able too.

After they brought in the top dogs were were finally able to convince her that she had to allow them to take him to the Morgue and then went to her home and started looking for paperwork.

Now since yesterday I have been trying to locate where his mother is buried (finally did) and now I'm trying to find out if it is possible to have him buried with her. Hopefully they can figure that out today so that I can start the process of having him moved to that mortuary. On Monday I have to make pension/retirement phone calls because they are closed for the weekend. At this point I have no idea if I need to be making arrangements for a funeral (sounds like he didnt want one) and if not then do we do something grave side?

I have no idea what to do after death...I'm a nurse I deal with what comes BEFORE death (which preferably doesnt occur)...this is a learning experience I really do not want.

Sleep? Who Needs Sleep?

The night before last I hardly slept at all. Maria told me that Josie only woke up once all night (a first for her), but not me I woke up about every hour...ick!

Last night I was exhausted and expected to sleep all night. Too bad my dog had other ideas! She woke up about 2 and wanted out (unusual for her). So I let her out then went back to sleep knowing she would cry at the door for me to let her in. About 15minutes later my phone rang! Of course that scares the crap outta me in the middle of the night. It was my brother (same as my last phone call in the middle of the night), he saw my dog out and was worried something happened to me since I never leave my dog out at night. After I cleared that up (and let the dog back in). I tried sleeping again. Some where around 5 the dog was up AGAIN! I let her out again... and then of course back in. What a night!

And drum roll please!!! Tonight I have Kayla and Josie for the night so there goes that nights sleep...Im crossing my fingers for Saturday night to be good!

Kreativ Blogger Award

I was tagged by Shanda So here goes...

List 7 things you love and then pass the award on to 7 bloggers you love! Be sure to tag them and let them know they've won! You can copy the award and put it on your sidebar to let the whole world know that your KREATIV!

-TV
-pink
-Red Robin
-books
-freshly vacuumed floors
-re-organizing
-roses

Bloggers I love
-http://craftycallie.blogspot.com/
-http://happypaperblog.blogspot.com/
-http://abbeysmommy.blogspot.com/
-http://lisabeesponderings.blogspot.com/2009/03/brown-1-challenge.html
-http://joyineveryjourney.blogspot.com/
-http://susansdayoffcreations.blogspot.com/
-http://sunshinesls.blogspot.com/

Josie/Nina Time

(relaxing in Nina's bed)

On the mornings that Maria stays over I have been spending the mornings alone with Josie. She seems to wake up about 730, the same time I do. And before she really starts getting excited I snatch her up and take her to my room for some cuddle time while Maria gets some uninterrupted sleep. I love that hour or two early in the morning when I get to snuggle with her.

Mommy Words....

Last night Maria stayed here with the girls. Maria wanted Kayla to do something for her (cant remember what now) and she wasnt moving fast enough for her, so Maria says "Im asking nicely before I yell". I couldnt help but laugh out loud! After I stopped laughing I said "wow you really ARE a mom now!" That was such a hilarious mom thing to say!

Here are a few shots of the day...


(Josie's first silly face)

February Weight Loss

So the first picture isnt the best (I had to retake it later in the day). But I just wanted to post how proud I am of my weight loss! Today when I was getting dressed for Kayla's BD party I looked at myself and though "wow I really have been losing weight".

Now on to March to keep up (and hopefully speed up) the pace!

Bored BORED Bored

I have a million things I could be/should be doing today but instead here I sit bored outta my mind! Ive checked all my boards a million times, cleaned (though of course there is more I could do), worked out, talked to my friends, check in on my brother (who got bit by a dog), applied for more jobs, caught up on most of my shows and even remembered to keep drinking water.

Seriously, what else is left? I should have made today a Kayla day-then I wouldnt have been bored!

Now And Then

Last night Hilda and I were looking through my yearbook for our Senior year, having fun looking at people that we haven't seen in years. Laughing at each other for things I remember that she doesn't and those that she does that I don't.

One of the things she remembered that I didnt was a page titled "Predictions", she knew I submitted something but couldn't remember what it was. When we found this, we both fell over laughing. Because... I was SO right!

Having friends that you have been close to forever (we are only TWO years from our 10yr HS reunion) makes life so much more interesting!

What a Morning!

At 530 this morning my phone rang. I swear I was outta bed and to the phone before I even knew what was happening. It was my brother and I answered the phone with 'whats wrong?'. I dont think he even noticed. He was calling to tell me that the light in my car was on (he was just getting in) and that my battery was going to go dead. It was nice of him to let me know, but the phone ringing at that time is scary.

Then around 1030 the dog trainer called me to make sure her and Brandon were still on for lesson today (she doesnt have his number for some reason). I went to walk over to Brandon's to check with him and as I walked down the small hill that goes between the two properties and for some reason I just slid down the hill and land with one leg twisted behind me and one out infront of me, and of course on my pinky! And the worst part was, the trainer was on the phone so all I could do was pick myself up and keep going.

At first my pinky hurt worse than anything, but now its starting to feel better while my ankle is beginning to throb. Of course cause today was the first day in a few that I was going to be able to work out! I still did the weight part just so I could see where I was-unfortunately the fast food of the last few days is catching up with me. Hopefully tomorrow I will be able to work out correctly.

What a morning-and its only 1130!

We Have A Baby!

Josie was born today, only about 4 hours after Maria was admitted to the hospital. She was still in denial about the labor, she thought they were going to send her home to wait it out longer. Its a good thing her mom convinced her to go in then. From what I understand the doctor didnt even make it there until after the birth. I hope if/when I ever have babies I have labor that fast!

Here are a few snap shots from just a few hours after she was born..



Kayla snuggling with mommy.



Kayla's dad holding Josie (thats my hand)





A sleeping baby

Kayla is going to really learn what it means to be a big sister. While we were at the hospital today she was pretty emotional and overwhelmed. She definitely didnt like it when Josie cried, she cried too. Poor baby was confused about why her mom was in the bed and told her to 'get dressed mom'.

She did much better when she got home with me and was able to just go about our normal routine. Speaking of which...Im taking Maria to LA tomorrow, so that means her nap is probably going to be messed up again....I hope that goes okay, I dont want her to be saying "I want you" to her mom every five minutes all the way there. Hmm maybe we can drive during nap time??

BTW-No we DONT care that she was born on Friday the 13th. Thanks for pointing it out!!