101 in 1001

Start: January 2, 2014
End: September 29, 2016

My goals (in no particular order)
1. Organize hall cabinets
2. Clean out my closet (leaving only things I actually wear)
3. Organize and USE garage cabinets
4. Unpack all moving boxes
5. Hang pictures in hallway
6. Order curtains
7. Pantry organization
8. Take nursing course to bring skills/confidence up
9. Look for new job
10. Reorganize kitchen cupboards
11. Participate in one CF/CRMS activity each year
12. Bring Ty's weight up to the curve
13. First weight goal 145
14. Second weight goal 135
15. Tyler completely off baby sippy
16. Tyler sleeping through the night
17. Seven days of complete meal plans
18. Try one new meal per quarter
19. Take one weekend off per quarter
20. Girls cleaning rooms, 50% of time
21. No eating out for one week
22. No eating out for one month
23. Complete Insanity
24. Teach Kayla how to ride without training wheels
25. Potty train Tyler
26. Teach Tyler his number 1-10
27. Teach Tyler colors
28. Game night one night per month
29. Complete 2013 shutterfly book
30. Complete 2014 shutterfly book
31. Complete 2013 Christmas book
32. Order Zoo book
33. Plan Valentines day 2013.
34. Plan Ty's 2nd birthday
35. Eat clean one week
36. Figure out laundry system
37. Set up play room
38. Juice one week
39. Juice one month
40. Organize house papers
41. Organize Tyler papers
42. Record Tys food one week
43. Record Tys food one month
44. Walk to the park
45. Hang TV on playroom wall
46. Cameras in kids bedrooms
47. Decide if Ty's a lefty
48. Read about lefties
 49. Write 2 blogs per month.
50. One week without TV
51. Finish this list!

Blogging Again?

Looking back at my blog so much has changed. My "nephew" is now my son and the CF (officially CRMS) is now completely my responsibility. I tend to stress myself out worrying endlessly about life and what could possibly happen. I drive myself nuts with it so I must make my friends and family completely insane. I'm considering the possibility that if I blog about it instead I may be able to let some of it go. Plus, blogging is a great way to keep memories alive. Welcome 2014 let's see what it brings.

Today...

Today will forever be the day that I learned my 3 week old nephew has been diagnosed with Cystic Fibrosis. I can't explain the feeling I have always had that something was not "right" with him. I had no reason to feel this way but my instincts just would not be quiet. And now to find out that its something life threatening. I'm the type of person who likes to "fix" everything. I want to be right in the middle of it and make sure everything is ok. This is one case where all I can do is stand back and watch, I am completely unable to fix it. All I can do is be there to support my sister through this, from now into the future. The first step is meeting with specialist on Thursday to begin learning how severe his case of CF is and what we can do to give him the best quality of life. One day at a time, one step at a time

Donald Lee Conway (Death)

**Disclaimer: this blog contains talk of death and dying**

Yesterday at about 130pm my Grandfather (my dad's dad) passed away.

He had been suffering from COPD for many years and in the past few months has had repeated hospitalizations. He has been hospitalized since Monday for respiratory depression. I of course had a cold at the beginning of the week and since he had surgery (thrombolectomy) I was not able to visit until Thursday. When I saw him I knew his time was short. I stay ed with him so that his wife could go home and rest because he needed someone with him as much as possible. While there of course my "nurse" kicked in and I asked if he had an advance directive filled out and found out that he did not. I spoke to my dad about it and found out that he had a DNR filled out but due to surgery they had to throw it out and make another after (which had not been done yet). My dad filled it out right then and my Grandmother signed her portion Friday morning when she came back. I am SO glad I talked to my dad about it because he died about 12 hours after that was signed, and if it had not been signed the nurses would have had to perform CPR which would have just been awful for him.

I feel bad because he was resting fine all day (first time in about 24hrs) since they got his anti-vomiting medication switched. I was freezing in the hospital and whatever they use to clean their linens makes me sneeze so I couldnt even wrap up in a blanket. I decided to go home and grab a sweater and come back before the Dr.s made their rounds. I was gone about 30min and when I got back he was already gone. With my mind I know that people most often wait until their family is out of the room before they pass. I've seen it more than once-but it really doesnt make me feel much better.

The nurses are unable to tell someone over the phone that someone has died so they called my Grandmother and my Dad and told them he took a turn for the worst and for them to come down there. When I arrived back at the hospital one of the nurses down the other hall reached out and rubbed my arm and said "its okay" and I KNEW that was BAD, so I went running down the hall and as I came around the corner I saw his curtain was closed and heard his nurse say "I would like to report a death". She then told me that his heart had just stopped. I called my dad to tell him not to hurry (we have a drive safe thing in my family) that he was already gone, he said he already had a feeling.

When my Grandmother got there she was running down the hall already crying, and then I had to tell her he was already gone. From there things just went downhill. More family arrived and so I had to explain over and over what happened. It was a bit frustrating cause it was all "her" family and they still made me do everything (including talking to all the professions-I had no idea someone (me) had to talk to a coroner after a death). I'm not complaining about that-I just felt like her daughter/sister would have been able to offer more comfort than I was able too.

After they brought in the top dogs were were finally able to convince her that she had to allow them to take him to the Morgue and then went to her home and started looking for paperwork.

Now since yesterday I have been trying to locate where his mother is buried (finally did) and now I'm trying to find out if it is possible to have him buried with her. Hopefully they can figure that out today so that I can start the process of having him moved to that mortuary. On Monday I have to make pension/retirement phone calls because they are closed for the weekend. At this point I have no idea if I need to be making arrangements for a funeral (sounds like he didnt want one) and if not then do we do something grave side?

I have no idea what to do after death...I'm a nurse I deal with what comes BEFORE death (which preferably doesnt occur)...this is a learning experience I really do not want.

Sleep? Who Needs Sleep?

The night before last I hardly slept at all. Maria told me that Josie only woke up once all night (a first for her), but not me I woke up about every hour...ick!

Last night I was exhausted and expected to sleep all night. Too bad my dog had other ideas! She woke up about 2 and wanted out (unusual for her). So I let her out then went back to sleep knowing she would cry at the door for me to let her in. About 15minutes later my phone rang! Of course that scares the crap outta me in the middle of the night. It was my brother (same as my last phone call in the middle of the night), he saw my dog out and was worried something happened to me since I never leave my dog out at night. After I cleared that up (and let the dog back in). I tried sleeping again. Some where around 5 the dog was up AGAIN! I let her out again... and then of course back in. What a night!

And drum roll please!!! Tonight I have Kayla and Josie for the night so there goes that nights sleep...Im crossing my fingers for Saturday night to be good!

Kreativ Blogger Award

I was tagged by Shanda So here goes...

List 7 things you love and then pass the award on to 7 bloggers you love! Be sure to tag them and let them know they've won! You can copy the award and put it on your sidebar to let the whole world know that your KREATIV!

-TV
-pink
-Red Robin
-books
-freshly vacuumed floors
-re-organizing
-roses

Bloggers I love
-http://craftycallie.blogspot.com/
-http://happypaperblog.blogspot.com/
-http://abbeysmommy.blogspot.com/
-http://lisabeesponderings.blogspot.com/2009/03/brown-1-challenge.html
-http://joyineveryjourney.blogspot.com/
-http://susansdayoffcreations.blogspot.com/
-http://sunshinesls.blogspot.com/

Josie/Nina Time

(relaxing in Nina's bed)

On the mornings that Maria stays over I have been spending the mornings alone with Josie. She seems to wake up about 730, the same time I do. And before she really starts getting excited I snatch her up and take her to my room for some cuddle time while Maria gets some uninterrupted sleep. I love that hour or two early in the morning when I get to snuggle with her.

Mommy Words....

Last night Maria stayed here with the girls. Maria wanted Kayla to do something for her (cant remember what now) and she wasnt moving fast enough for her, so Maria says "Im asking nicely before I yell". I couldnt help but laugh out loud! After I stopped laughing I said "wow you really ARE a mom now!" That was such a hilarious mom thing to say!

Here are a few shots of the day...


(Josie's first silly face)

February Weight Loss

So the first picture isnt the best (I had to retake it later in the day). But I just wanted to post how proud I am of my weight loss! Today when I was getting dressed for Kayla's BD party I looked at myself and though "wow I really have been losing weight".

Now on to March to keep up (and hopefully speed up) the pace!

Bored BORED Bored

I have a million things I could be/should be doing today but instead here I sit bored outta my mind! Ive checked all my boards a million times, cleaned (though of course there is more I could do), worked out, talked to my friends, check in on my brother (who got bit by a dog), applied for more jobs, caught up on most of my shows and even remembered to keep drinking water.

Seriously, what else is left? I should have made today a Kayla day-then I wouldnt have been bored!

Now And Then

Last night Hilda and I were looking through my yearbook for our Senior year, having fun looking at people that we haven't seen in years. Laughing at each other for things I remember that she doesn't and those that she does that I don't.

One of the things she remembered that I didnt was a page titled "Predictions", she knew I submitted something but couldn't remember what it was. When we found this, we both fell over laughing. Because... I was SO right!

Having friends that you have been close to forever (we are only TWO years from our 10yr HS reunion) makes life so much more interesting!

What a Morning!

At 530 this morning my phone rang. I swear I was outta bed and to the phone before I even knew what was happening. It was my brother and I answered the phone with 'whats wrong?'. I dont think he even noticed. He was calling to tell me that the light in my car was on (he was just getting in) and that my battery was going to go dead. It was nice of him to let me know, but the phone ringing at that time is scary.

Then around 1030 the dog trainer called me to make sure her and Brandon were still on for lesson today (she doesnt have his number for some reason). I went to walk over to Brandon's to check with him and as I walked down the small hill that goes between the two properties and for some reason I just slid down the hill and land with one leg twisted behind me and one out infront of me, and of course on my pinky! And the worst part was, the trainer was on the phone so all I could do was pick myself up and keep going.

At first my pinky hurt worse than anything, but now its starting to feel better while my ankle is beginning to throb. Of course cause today was the first day in a few that I was going to be able to work out! I still did the weight part just so I could see where I was-unfortunately the fast food of the last few days is catching up with me. Hopefully tomorrow I will be able to work out correctly.

What a morning-and its only 1130!

We Have A Baby!

Josie was born today, only about 4 hours after Maria was admitted to the hospital. She was still in denial about the labor, she thought they were going to send her home to wait it out longer. Its a good thing her mom convinced her to go in then. From what I understand the doctor didnt even make it there until after the birth. I hope if/when I ever have babies I have labor that fast!

Here are a few snap shots from just a few hours after she was born..



Kayla snuggling with mommy.



Kayla's dad holding Josie (thats my hand)





A sleeping baby

Kayla is going to really learn what it means to be a big sister. While we were at the hospital today she was pretty emotional and overwhelmed. She definitely didnt like it when Josie cried, she cried too. Poor baby was confused about why her mom was in the bed and told her to 'get dressed mom'.

She did much better when she got home with me and was able to just go about our normal routine. Speaking of which...Im taking Maria to LA tomorrow, so that means her nap is probably going to be messed up again....I hope that goes okay, I dont want her to be saying "I want you" to her mom every five minutes all the way there. Hmm maybe we can drive during nap time??

BTW-No we DONT care that she was born on Friday the 13th. Thanks for pointing it out!!

Josie Can Read!

Im so lucky Maria hasn't had time to read this blog lately! At 9:30a I blogged that Im ready for Josie to be born. And at 12p I picked up Maria and we had lunch and did some running around for the next few hours.

During the time we were together she casually mentioned the fact that her stomach would get tight for a minute. She said it so casually that I didnt really pay it much attention, especially because Josie was still sitting high.

As we were walking around Dos Logos (outdoor shopping) I kept stealing glances at her belly out of the corner of my eye and thinking "did her stomach drop?". I didnt want to say anything cause I didnt know if I was right but while I was looking Maria told me that she felt pressure low, and that maybe Josie was getting lower. I then admitted to her then that I had been wondering if she had dropped lower just since we had been out.

Again Maria brought up the 'tightening' of her stomach and I asked her if it hurt and she said no, that it was just 'uncomfortable' but nothing to be worried about. Then she told me that it had already happened about 6 times in the 5 hours we had been together. Okay I know thats not serious labor or anything but still, its nothing to ignore.

I told Maria that they sounded like contractions to me (I also felt her stomach before and during one). She kept saying they couldnt be cause she remembered how bad it hurt with Kayla. She kept saying over and over how it couldnt be. I laughed (nicely!) and told her that she could be in denial as long as she liked that labor would come sooner or later anyway. She laughed too and told me that she was in denial.

We decided that it was probably a good idea if I kept Kayla for the night since she has an early Dr. apt in the morning anyway.

I just text her a little while ago and she said the 'tightening' is has gotten a little stronger but nothing consistant yet and she was going to try to sleep.

So we will see what happens right? She went into the hospital with Kayla at 7-8a and had her around 4p so she doesnt have a history of long labors once they get going.

Impatiently Waiting!

Okay little Miss Josie Lynn, its time to be born!

I know I know, her due date isnt here quite yet (next Tuesday) but Im ready now! And lucky for me her mommy is ready too. Im on call for Kayla duty as soon as the labor starts so Im afraid to go anywhere far cause I promised to be there as soon as the first contraction happens. The waiting is rough, and Im not even the one who has to carry her, lol.

Today Im going to see Maria for a few hours (or at least thats the plan). I hope I can remember to grab a photo or two of her...you never when it will be the last 'pregnant' photo right?

I cant wait to meet Josie!!

One of Those Days...

Today was one of those days. Nothing has really been wrong (minus the leaking roof, lol) but I still havent been chipper. Maybe it was the migraine I now have pounding the back of my skull, creeping up on my all day, maybe its cause I havent eaten enough, or maybe its the incessant rain... Whatever it is Im SICK of it! I wanna be happy again!

Its 7pm...so the days almost over right?

A Kayla Day

Kayla came to play today! Yay! She 'helped' me make lunch (chicken salad). I dont mind her helping at all, especially because she tries new things when we cook together. Today it was tomatos (she said they were her 'favorite') even though before she always said she didn't like them, so thats an improvment.



She also licked a carrot :) While she was playing with it, kinda nibbling I told her to take a bite so we could show her mom (through a pic) and she did. She didnt want to eat it after she bit it but she did :) No fuss, even. At Nina's house we have the 'one bite rule'. We dont fight over food (I think thats stupid) so we just eat one bite of something if its new, and from there she can decide what she wants. Often she will take more than one bite on her own before deciding if she likes it or not. Although she doesnt like carrots...she LOVES salad :)


While she was here she showed me her new 'trick'

I wanted to cry when she told me that she could put her own socks on, and even worse she then proceeded to ask me for her shoes and competently put those on also. Awww she is growing up so fast! I know she has too, and I really dont like it when she acts like a baby...but ...cant there be a middle ground somewhere?

Hair Hair Everywhere!

So the other day I was in the shower (sorry TMI!) and while I was washing my hair I faced a cold hard fact. I can no longer deny it.

~My hair is to my knees~

How exactly did that happen? Okay yeah I know I havent cut/trimmed it in over 20 years. But still! For so long it seemed to stay at the same length (halfway between my behind and my knees). But now there is no denying it-its reached my knees!

Yes I keep "saying" it, because I still cant believe it!

I'm very sure that the fact that for the last few years I have rarely worn it down has contributed to its increased length. My ex really liked me to wear it down, so I used wear it down almost daily and that obviously kept the growth under control. Now that Im single I dont wear it down. And the honest to God reason is because I dont like the attention I get when I do. People regularly comment "you have really long hair" and I never know what to say to that! It's not a compliment so I cant say 'thanks'. Its just a statement of fact, like 'the sky is blue'.

So from now on-Im making an effort-wear my hair down, just deal with the comments.

Down

Im so frustrated right now.

I applied at LLU for a job that I wanted. And the HR person told me that the cut off was in December but that they were very interested in my application and would open up the program (first day is Feb 8) for me to apply. Basically all I had to do was pass an interview.

So I got everything done and last week they were trying to fit me in for an interview on Monday, and then I never heard anything else from them. So Ive been trying to get a hold of them since Friday to find out what the deal was.

Today I finally got a call saying they arent even going to interview me-Im just outta luck!

WTH?? First they dont have a problem and now they do?

So now I have to start over with the process for a job. Im going to give myself a little while to let this set in and then Im going to look for some place else to apply.

Counting My Blessings

This evening while doing what has fast become a favorite hobby of mine, blog hopping I happened to run across this blog http://browniemom.blogspot.com/ . Reading about this families loss reminded me of how blessed I am.

Many times I focus on what is missing in my life, and forget to count my blessings. I have an intact family-closer than most really. I live next door to my brother, and though I complain about having to wait for him to work on my computer when I need him, Im blessed to have someone who can take care of my technical needs at all. He does 'little' things that impact my life for the better, like today when he installed the locking mailboxes in front of our houses, or when he handles the remote-skipping all the commercials so that I can eat and watch TV without having to watch them.

Im blessed to have generous parents that are willing to let me live in their extra house and help me out while Im not working. Even 'making' me (yes, insisting) that I drive my Dad's car to my job meeting tomorrow because my tags are expired and I didnt know they could tow your car for that. So now Im driving his car until I get my plates-so that leaves him without a car-just to take care of me. And that of course impacts my mom-now she has to take my dad back and forth to work, on top of meeting me during the week to get his car back. Oooo and even sweeter-today I was looking for some paperwork (no luck!) and my mom saw my giant pile of papers that needed to be sorted and shredded. So she sorted them all for me and took home what needs to be shredded...how awesome is that?!

And then of course there are the little siblings-always good for hugs, giggles and some chattiness.

Im thankful I ran across this blog, I need the reminder to be more thankful for my family.